Welcome to the Own You Podcast, where we chat all things healthy habits and self-improvement.
I'm your host, Angela Jones, and my purpose is to remind you just how much control and
power you have over your life.
I've stepped into this by focusing on mastering my own daily habits, and I couldn't believe
the positive effects it had on life.
If you're ready to take the reins, surprise yourself by your own potential, and create
a life you've only dreamed of, then you've come to the right place.
Own your habits, own your life, own you.
Let's get started.
Hello, and welcome back to the Own You Podcast.
No matter how prepared or inspired we are, sometimes habits just don't work right away.
And that's what we're going to be talking about today, how to troubleshoot when you're
realizing you're having trouble, how to reset your goals for the year, and ultimately, how
to be successful.
So first off, feeling that way, feeling like you're stuck, like a habit just can't seem
to happen, or you maybe know what you want to accomplish, don't know how to get there,
all of this is completely normal.
So remember that when you're in the trenches, you're feeling discouraged or frustrated or
whatever it is, remember that that is 100% normal.
I do my best to teach you how to avoid that trap of feeling discouraged.
I think that is one of the most frustrating feelings.
I think that is the number one reason why we give up, why we get frustrated, why we
abandon our goals, why New Year's resolutions are ditched so frequently and so fast.
It's that feeling of being discouraged.
It is a dangerous virus we want to keep out of the whole system.
So instead of getting trapped in that discouraged feeling, let's instead go back to the drawing
By now, most of us have abandoned our New Year's resolutions and that's purely just
fact, and you might be doubting or second guessing the goals that you set to accomplish
So instead of heading down that negative road, let's instead steer ourselves back in the
right direction and get back on track.
So how do we do that?
I have a few ways and tips that we can steer us back on track and sort of troubleshoot
when we're feeling discouraged or frustrated.
Number one is ask yourself, is this a goal you actually want?
Will it get you closer to that ultimate dream future that you envision?
I think sometimes we want to want something or we want a certain result and we think,
you know, X, Y habit is how to get there.
But a habit is so much more likely to be solidified if it's actually something that we want.
Now that's not to say that we will always want to practice a certain habit.
We won't always want to eat healthy or work out or do our work or whatever it is.
But if that habit is something that you ultimately want to create, then yes, especially if it's
something that will get you closer to that dream future that you envision.
So that was number one, is the goal actually something that you even want?
Number two, spend some time thinking about that future that I just mentioned, that future
that you want, reconnect with your dreams and consider if there's a focus that might
suit that future self even better right now.
So go back to that person that you envisioned at the end of 2023, having accomplished everything
you wanted this year.
What does that look like and what focus is something that you can work on right now that
will get you closer?
So spend some time remembering what you wanted to accomplish this year and where you want
to be come January 1st, 2024.
Number three is make sure you have one habit focus, and I feel like a broken record.
I feel like I say this on just about every episode, but it is that important.
So often, especially as women or women entrepreneurs, we try to take on so many things at one time,
and sometimes that may work.
Sometimes you might be able to juggle multiple tasks.
Ultimately, when you're trying to start a new habit, when you're trying to solidify
a new behavior in your life, splitting that focus on multiple things is sabotaging you.
So go back and make sure that you are only focusing on one thing at a time.
That does not mean that you abandon all the other goals that you have.
That doesn't mean that nothing else matters.
That means one thing at a time, focus on making that habit automatic, really solidifying it
into your day where you don't have to think about it, you don't have to rely on motivation.
It just happens from there.
Once you've reached that point, go back to that list of things that you want to accomplish
and pick a new focus, but always remembering that you're doing that one at a time.
Tip number four is to make a plan.
Don't leave it up to fate.
Don't just wing it.
Make a plan so you know every day when, how, why you're going to practice this habit.
By making a plan ahead of time, you are avoiding decision fatigue.
You are avoiding procrastination each day.
Make a plan.
Make it as detailed as you can down to when you're going to do it, where, why, how.
Make that all in advance so you are set up each day to make it happen.
Tip number five is write it on your daily to-do list.
Make it obvious.
So life gets crazy sometimes.
Sometimes it is just a matter of forgetting that this is a goal that you have.
Maybe you get busy or distracted or, you know, life happens.
Remind yourself that this is something that you wanted to practice.
Put it on your to-do list.
That way you can check it off, get that extra reward, that hit of dopamine I mentioned in
that episode from Valentine's Day, and make it super obvious so you never have the excuse
that you forgot.
Again, this is giving you that little assist, that little helpful nudge that we all need
sometimes when life gets crazy.
You can set an alarm on your phone.
You can name that alarm.
You can write post-its everywhere.
You can put it on your to-do list.
You can tell someone else as an accountability partner, but make sure it's obvious and right
in front of your face every day.
And tip number six is adjust your ability, and I'm going to talk about this a little
bit more in a second, but you want to make that habit even easier.
If you are struggling, go back to the drawing board and think about how you can make it
Can you make it shorter?
Can you make it easier?
Can you break it down in some way that makes it easier to accomplish each day?
Because if you're having trouble, there's a reason why, instead of just putting yourself
down or getting frustrated or getting discouraged, figure out why and then fix it.
So a little bit about adjusting the ability that I just mentioned.
If you can indulge me for a second, I'm going to describe a graph, and I hope it makes sense
just hearing it, if you need to draw along with me, feel free, but picture a graph with
a X and Y axis, the X axis is motivation, and the Y axis is ability, how easy or hard
If you picture a curved line coming through the center of that graph, that is the sort
of threshold of the behavior, threshold of the action.
Now if you, if the convergence of motivation and ability fall below that curved line, that
action is not going to happen.
However, if that convergence falls above or to the right of that curved line, that's when
the habit is practiced, that's when the behavior happens.
So what does this all mean?
Why am I describing a graph to you?
If you think of motivation and ability kind of working together like this, you'll understand
that if motivation is super high, even if the task is hard, it will happen.
If you are super motivated, if you want this more than anything else, that motivation will
kind of override how hard or long a task might be.
Now conversely, if it's a super easy task, if it takes seconds or a couple minutes, if
it doesn't really disrupt your life, it will happen even if motivation is low.
So they kind of work in opposite ways.
So remembering that motivation is hard to control, motivation is fleeting, fickle, remembering
that increasing ability by making something easier to do may just be the key to making
So going back to tip number six, increasing ability, you do that by asking yourself, how
can I make this easier to compensate for varying degrees of motivation?
How might you do that?
You make the habits smaller, you remind yourself well, you decrease the time that a behavior
habit takes, you know, chop it into pieces, make it less of a time constraint and lots
of a impact on your daily schedule and you prepare, do you need anything that would make
Is there, you know, a one-time action or a one-time purchase that would make it easier
for you to complete the action?
So think about all the ways that you can make it easier.
And just a little bit of a reality check for us.
We have entered the third month of the year.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that the year was wasted if you haven't been on the
right track yet.
You can reset whenever you want.
You can troubleshoot your habits any day that you want.
Don't wait for January 1st.
Don't wait for Monday.
Don't wait for the perfect scenario.
Pick this moment today to troubleshoot, get back on the right track and make this year
everything you hoped it would be.
Take this opportunity to get closer to that dream life that you imagined.
I hope this helps.
Thank you for listening.
And I will see you right back here next week.
Thank you so much for listening.
My dream is to help as many people as possible take control of their habits to build big,
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And I will catch you right back here next week.